If I Had Known… That Professional Commitment Should Not Mean Neglecting Yourself

Carlos has just been appointed Vice President of a major Multinational. It is a promotion he has long hoped for, and one he is understandably delighted about.

We had already worked together on his work-life balance. He had made progress, particularly in finally freeing up time to attend his sons’ sports practices. A small victory that meant a great deal to him.

But when we review his new routine, Carlos admits that his schedule is, in his own words, “completely packed.”

Meetings follow meetings, appointments pile up, and requests multiply. There is not a minute between commitments to breathe, step back, or simply think.

He has managed to make room for his sons in his calendar. But has he really made any room for himself?

Perhaps you will recognize yourself in Carlos:

An executive committee meeting that runs well beyond its scheduled end. Quarterly results below target. A difficult decision about a reorganization. A director asking for your judgment just as you were finally about to leave the office. Between meetings, dozens of messages marked “urgent” demanding a response.

At first, these are only occasional exceptions.

You cancel a workout to prepare a board presentation. You miss a family dinner because an important negotiation drags on. You postpone a medical appointment: there is no way you can take time off this week; too much is at stake.

Then the weekend arrives. A problem arises at a production site, a strategic client threatens to leave, or a decision due on Monday requires several more hours of preparation.

You open your laptop on Sunday evening. Just to get ahead.

And gradually, the exceptions become habits.

Even on holiday, you keep your phone close. At a restaurant, you discreetly check your messages. At three in the morning, you mentally revisit the figures for the next budget or the consequences of a decision you will have to announce to your teams.

You are physically present, but your mind is elsewhere.

The responsibilities of a leader are as exciting as they are demanding: defining a vision, bringing teams together around a shared project, developing talent, seizing new opportunities, guiding transformation—but also making difficult decisions, managing the unexpected, and delivering on commitments.

Most of the time, you genuinely love what you do. You did not decide to neglect yourself. You simply got into the habit of believing everything else could wait.

In my coaching work, I meet executives who can lead complex organizations, manage crises, and devise five-year strategies, yet struggle to reserve a single hour in their calendars for themselves.

They talk about the importance of delegation but continue to intervene in the smallest details. They encourage their teams to protect their work-life balance but send emails at midnight themselves. They know how to identify risks to their business, yet pay little attention to the warning signals their own bodies are sending.

And sometimes, when they finally find a moment for themselves, they are so exhausted that all they want to do is take a nap.

This is not about questioning their ambition, commitment, or enjoyment of their work. It is about examining the sometimes invisible cost of that success—and what their own behavior communicates, unintentionally, to the teams they lead.

Being a committed leader does not mean having to be available every moment. And taking care of yourself is neither a lack of ambition nor a sign of weakness.

You know how to anticipate risks to your business. But when did you start treating your own exhaustion as a risk worth taking seriously?

You take care of your company, your teams, and their results. But who takes care of you?