If I Had Known… That You Do Not Have to Feel Ready to Be Ready

Sophia is the CEO of a major cosmetics brand. Approaching retirement, she has built a remarkable career and lacks neither confidence nor determination.

As we work together on her transition to life after her career, she tells me she has set herself a mission for her final working years: encouraging the women in her company to step forward and claim their place.

One day, half amused and half bewildered, she tells me about the interviews she has just conducted for the opening of an office in Moscow.

“I met several candidates. One was convinced he was perfectly qualified because he knew The Hunt for Red October by heart. Another because he had visited Russia on a school trip!”

Then she adds:

“And yet there is a wonderful young woman on my team, highly competent, who speaks fluent Russian. She didn’t even apply!”

Sophia asks Human Resources to approach her. The young woman’s response?

“Oh, but I’ve only been with the company for three years…”

Three years.

On one side, men convinced they were qualified on the strength of a film or a school trip. On the other, a capable woman with a genuine advantage for the position who excluded herself from consideration because she felt she lacked seniority.

What happened next? Encouraged to apply, she ultimately got the job.

That story has stayed with me.

Have you ever passed up an opportunity because you did not tick every box? Thought you needed one more qualification, a few more years of experience, or someone else’s approval before daring to take the plunge?

I often see this pattern in coaching, particularly among women who are experienced and respected for their abilities.

They do not necessarily lack ambition. But sometimes they wait for a kind of permission, internal or external, before saying to themselves, “Why not me?”

The paradox is especially striking in the world of expatriate assignments. Although women remain a small minority among executives sent abroad, some studies suggest they perform at least as well as—and sometimes better than—their male counterparts.

The issue is not necessarily competence. It may also be confidence, visibility, and access to opportunities.

Of course, it would be simplistic to claim that all men overestimate their abilities and all women underestimate theirs. But upbringing, experience, and social expectations can profoundly influence how we judge our own legitimacy.

Some people ask themselves, “Why wouldn’t I be able to do it?”

Others ask, “Do I really have all the skills I need to give it a try?”

And that difference in perspective can sometimes change the course of a career.

What I particularly like about this story is that it also highlights the essential role of leaders. Sophia could have waited for the young woman to put herself forward. Instead, she chose to seek out a talented person who did not dare apply.

Because while each of us must learn to give ourselves a chance, organizations also have a responsibility to recognize talent that is not yet confident enough to step into the spotlight.

Sometimes all it takes is someone saying, “Why not you?” for you to begin asking yourself the same question.

But there will not always be someone there to encourage you to take that step.

What if the first person you need to convince that you belong is yourself?